Friday, January 27, 2006

we're breaking free...

WOW....last night was insane but so much fun!

The night started out so shitty, we didn't even think we were going to get drunk. But motown never fails...we had a great time. The enitre night out was so crazy. Even though I ended the night hugging the toliet...it was still def. a good time haha!

Ok so I am such a dork but, I don't really care. Well you know me and disney channel orignial movies..plus itunes...I had to!!!---I so bought the HighSchool Musical soundtrack haha. It is really good too I promise you haha. I feel like this is so something either Jillian would so get or Elissa would buy off of itunes lol. It really is good though.

Well Mr. Justin Dickstein is a very happy person :)

I love it how things work out and how the pieces really do fall into place. It amazes me how much something can just make everything so right...I like how sometimes when you really stick to your gut, good things happen. It seems like life makes a whole lot more sense now and I am so happy that I have this state of mind because seriously...if you want something--just stick your mind to it and go with it, don't give up on something you know you truly want or truly need. This goes for anything...from a dream to a job to a person....anything you truly want in life...go for it, you have nothing to lose if you just try for something you know is worth trying for.

If I can do it...so can you. :)

later
- justin

good times

H.S Musical
- Breaking Free

We’re soarin’, flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach


If we’re trying
So we’re breaking free

You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are

Creating space between us
‘Til we’re separate hearts

But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

We’re breakin’ free

We’re soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah, we’re breaking free
Oh, we’re breakin’ free
Ohhhh
Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can’t control

Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls
Rising ‘til it lifts us up
So every one can see

We’re breakin’ free
We’re soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach

If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free
Ohhhh runnin’
Climbin’
To get to that place
To be all that we can be

Now’s the time

So we’re breaking free
We’re breaking free
Ohhh , yeah


More than hope
More than faith
This is true
This is fate
And together


We see it comin’

More than you
More than me


Not a want, but a need

Both of us breakin’ free


Soarin’
Flyin’

There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free

Breaking free
Were runnin’
Ohhhh, climbin’

To get to the place
To be all that we can be
Now’s the time
Now’s the time
So we’re breaking free
Ohhh, we’re breaking free
Ohhhh

You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are

Thursday, January 26, 2006

It was our time to shine and nobody could hold us down...

Currently Listening to:
Carrie Underwood
- Whenever You Remember


I felt like updating at 4:12 am, when I have class at 11:30 lol...don't worry Jillian (I am going to class)

I realized all my updates have been just be venting and giving advice on life. Well I haven't gotten a chance to actually tell you whats going on in my life. Well, I have experienced some interesting things lately and have been doing things I normally would not be doing.

The things I normally would not be doing are...
Ok before I say it...I want to apologize for those who I have yelled at a million times for doing this...I want to apologize for being a hyprocrite haha and (beth) don't hit me...haha its not like you can but well....I went tanning! hahahaha.... SHOCKER!! *gasp* ....i wont ever give u shit for doing it and YES I WENT INTO THE CANCER BOX and I liked it haha. I figured I did it once...no turning back lol...I know werid right? lol yeah well as Kaleen says, " You are gonna die, so you might as well die tan" haha...love it!

I have been going out a lot over the weekends and discovering new places and people...its a lot of fun. I really love it here. I am also getting back into mode here. Doing my work and stuff. It is all good. I am actually happy :) I am realizing a lot about my life, what to hold on to and what to let go. I am realizing a lot about where I should be right now and how I should be living my life. I am very pleased where I am at right now. I am very happy because I know that good things are to come for me. That makes me very happy.

So it snowed today...I really hate the cold but the snow today wasn't like a blizzard snow, it was the snow that was just right...so it was cool. I liked it. Not enough snow for a snowball fight though...its all good though (I am waiting for that...because then me and kaleen can have another drunken snowball fight and hopefully it snows when I am home someday so me and jill can have a hardcore snowball fight 2!!)

So, I have no idea where I am living next year!! I really hope kaleen and alyssa are staying here...if they leave me I don't know what I will do!! We are going to look for apartments this weekend just incase. I really hope they stay...I'm gonna miss them so much if they leave :(
We will see though...

Spring Break....I am not sure what I am doing yet? I might not be home now...I actually have 4 places I might end up yet...Cali,FL,CO or Mexico?? Who Knows!? But I am going somewhere :) so thats really cool...I got to fig. that out.

Now I really should get some sleep...

Good Night
- Justin

good times :)

Carrie Underwood
- Whenever You Remember

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back and see how far we've come
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
They thought they'd see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
And no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Yeahhh, Ooohh

We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And know that we showed them all
And no they won't forget

Yeahhh

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Whenever you remember

Ooohh, whenever you remember

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart...

Life puts you in situations that are unexplainable. Sometimes it is to teach you a lesson, Sometimes it is to lead you in a different direction, Sometimes it can lead you to the wrong direction, Sometimes we need to experience certain things to understand. I think I have experienced a lot in my life already. You may say, "Justin, you are only 18 years old, you have so much more to experience." The truth is, I have experienced a lot more then most people would experience at my age. I have seen so much in my life these past few years. I started to see differently and I understand who I am and who others are. Not many people can say that. Not many people can say they know exactly what they want in life. Not many people know what it is like to have felt certain ways that I have felt. I have been in one big crazy world and I have seen so much. Not many people can understand what I have been through, throughout my life. It has been hard, easy, fun, sad, happy, etc...It is hard to understand because only I know what the feeling is like to have everything you want, just drop out of the sky.It is something I can't and will not forget. I have been through "hell" and back with..my friends, family, relationships, drama, school and life. I have been through a lot.

The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing I have the greatest friends, anyone can ask for. I have the best Mom in the world, who is always there for me. I have the best life anyone can ask for. I am so lucky to be who I am. I know how good I have it and we all don't get the chance to experience that. I am so blinded by how good I have it in life. But the truth is, every good comes with a bad. No one is perfect, nothing is perfect. Although, my life is the best it is ever going to get and I am so thankful for that. I know it will even get better as I grow older. But I know what I want in life and there is one thing missing. OK maybe a few things, but those are just dreams that I am after that one day may come true. But there is only one thing that I want in my life that will seriously just complete me and I would never ever ever ever complain ever again. And all I want in my life is that one thing that will make me get that feeling that you just know. That feeling that makes you melt. That feeling that makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me safe, makes me...the person I am today. The thing that makes me realize that you can see something in someone that noone else can ever see in that person. That feeling you get when you just can't believe it is true because it is. That feeling you get when you take a bite of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. That feeling you get when you laugh so hard. That feeling you get when you walk around on the nicest day of the year. That feeling you get that words can't really describe it. That feeling you get and you just know....it makes you who you are.

It is never to late to try hard for something that is there. Never give up on your dreams, never give up on something you are certain it is worth it. Never forget a smile, Never forget a laugh. Never forget the one person who made you happy everytime they kissed you. Never forget to open your eyes and see what life is really all about. Take a breath and just breathe. What is on your mind? What do you feel? What do you want? Who do you want? Who was that person who was feeling the same thing at the same time as you? Did it feel right? What do you need? Are you who you want to be? This is your life...you can make it happen.

it is the little things that count...open your eyes...open them wide...look and see what truly matters in life...we all need to realize that we all have our eyes closed...we are all blinded....take a look around....it isn't just you....we all live a life....open your eyes and see what you really want.

And don't worry I promise.... you will get there

...I made it

- Justin

gt

Jack Johnson
- Better Together


There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together

MMM its always better when we're together
Yeah, look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That theyll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll Sit beneath the mango tree now

Its always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

MMmmmm MMMmmmm Mmmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together.


Saturday, January 21, 2006

you gotta forgive and forget...

Currently Listening to :
- Forgive
by: De La Reina

I am loving life right now. I learned that I need to loosen up and just have fun. I can't worry anymore...or atleast try not to as much. I learned a lot these past few days. I finally am relieved and can actually say I know good things are to come soon for me. I don't know exactly when or how but they will eventually. I strongly believe that. I need to just enjoy life and be able to experience new things. I can definitley say I have experienced a lot since I have came to college. I am getting a lot more comfortable in this place every day. I am starting to see that everything truly happens for a reason and we all live to learn from our mistakes. We all have simliar lives in one way or another.
I am starting to understand a lot more about who I am and who others are. I am letting go of my "uptight" views on things. I just need to go with the flow more often. I guess you can say I have a lot of sense in my head right now and I am very satisfied where I am at. I feel good. I feel that I am ready to make change and be able to find more things about me and this place that I can almost call home. I have good intentions and I think everything will work out for me, one day. We all hope that it happens now but sometimes its worth the wait. So I am ready to just let go of stresses and know that things will happen as time goes on. I am on my way to a new direction, it seems like I am getting back to reality and seeing that the truth is in my heart. It is never going to change, so the only thing I can do is live my life and know that good things happen as we learn and take it day by day.


later
- Justin

good times

Friday, January 20, 2006

laughing at life...

Wow!! That is all I can say. I have so much that I feel and I feel I should be saying it but, the words won't come out. I am kind of surprised. I am very curious. About what? I have no idea. I just have this urge to just smile or be happy. I have this urge to just let everything brush by me and not care. I have this urge to just be myself and have fun. Just like dancing when no one is watching, living my life crazy, having fun, laughing hard, partying all night, sleeping all day, chilling with my friends, singing in the shower, looking at things differently, being confident, being normal, being weird, being one of a kind...Just living my life. It feels really good. I have realized that sometimes in life, certain things are not worth chasing after, the truth is...if they are willing to chase you back, no one would be chasing at all. So there is no point in wasting time and realizing who someone truly is.
So now I feel like a lot of people are going to say stuff to me, well they always do. But this time, I don't care! I am so over the drama, and I am so over the immature crap that has been going on in my life. I am ready to just have fun and laugh at life. Because my life is so fucking hilarious that I promise you one day it will be a movie. (rolling your eyes?) Well you ain't gonna be in it haha.....gotta love it!!

Justin is back and he is seriously ready...so once again...

bring it on :)

later
- Justin

good times

Thursday, January 19, 2006

we all follow the same road...

Sometimes I have no words for things. My head is usally somewhere else or everywhere else. I am just in a state of mind where I am not sure where to go about doing something. What I should or should be doing. Well I know what I should or shouldn't be doing, but do I want to? Well sometimes that is where I don't know which way to go. Our head says one thing when our heart tells us another thing. It is hard sometimes to just pick something and be ok with it. We all are never completley satisfied. That's human nature. That is just how life goes.
We all always have something to complain about. We all have something to worry about. We all always have a problem with something. No matter how happy we can be. Even when we are just chilling in our rooms, on the computer doing absoultely nothing, we still wonder about something that is on our mind and not know what to do. I am at this place now where I have no idea where to go about doing anything. I'm kind of stuck in this place and wonder what direction to go to. Should I follow the road everyone else is telling me to follow or follow the road I know I want to follow. Confused, you might say. But actually I have it pretty good. No matter which way I end up going, no matter which road I take. If it is by the influences of others or if its by the thoughts in my head, I am still going to end up where I am suppose to end up no matter what direction I take. One road might take me longer, one road might be a bumpy ride or a smooth set sail to where I am suppose to be. And to be honest I have no idea which road I am going to take, as I said I am pretty much stuck.
So I will just let it be and see what comes my way and figure out which road to take. But overall, I think the road we all take is the road that just brings up to where we are suppose to end up, so I don't even care anymore which road that will be. I'll get there eventually. Live my life one day at a time, and let it all just be. It is very easy this way and you learn a lot. As I always say, I am ready. So bring it on! haha
But, you know what will happen, I will start complaining and worry about something as soon as I stop typing. Actually, that's how it always goes. So this entry was pretty much pointless and you just read the whole thing and wasted a good amount of your time haha. But thats life!

You know its true, lets start to complain and worry, we all do it, we may stop for a moment but it still continues...

now go ahead and complain

- justin

good times

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

using my common sense...

So I have been doing a lot of thinking...and that book can wait. It made me think a lot. I had a better outlook on things and I wrote a poem that related to it, I hope you like it.

“When You Reach the End”
- By J.D.

When you reach the end, the only thing you can do

Is sit and wait at a bench and think about what’s true

The million possibilities that come our way

The chances we take and the things we say

Why do we think too much when we know what we should be doing?

We know what is right and what we shouldn’t be pursuing

How many times have we told ourselves, NO

But don’t care and just go with the flow

Are we this group that talks about right and wrong

Are we the type of people who analyze every song

How come we sit here and ponder about our lives

Why we are here and how long we will survive

The thing is that we all just have our days

We want to vent about it and figure out a way

No matter how hard we try, it is still going to be just as hard

These are the events that leave us with those noticeable scars

How come we take these minutes and spend time talking about this

The life we hope for or the life we have missed

Why do we scream when we are mad?

Why do we cry when we are sad?

Why does our heart beat so fast when we get nervous?

Why do we get frustrated when we lose service?

Why do we get scared when the time has ended?

Why does the sky turn that color when the sun has blended?

We sit here at the end and the only thing we can do

Is sit and wait at a bench and think about what’s true

This is not the end of a conversation; it is actually just the beginning

You can even say you know it’s only the first inning

So take your time and talk about the world

Make pretend you never met that guy or girl

Just think about the facts and how it all came true

Think about your life and think about just you

So take yourself all the way down

To the end that is all the way around

Don’t forget it is you and your friends who talk

So bring them with you to the end of the boardwalk

When you reach the end, it isn’t at all the end

It is just you sitting at a bench talking to your best friends






gt...Happy B-day David